Was the room really rocking, or was it all in my head? Same for that deep throbbing noise – was that real too?I tried to remember. I tried to remember anything. Then the knot in my stomach came back and I wished I could have unremembered for a few minutes longer.But it came tumbling in on me. That night. I shook my head to keep those memories away. That bastard. I let myself remember making my decision, though. Taking the pills, then realizing that it was not going to be enough. If two are prescribed for sleep, four weren't going to, like, kill ... So I'd thought of the bridge. The hurried walk, standing there, getting ready to jump, and then...And then what?Was I even still alive? Unfortunately, I felt alive. In fact, I felt alive enough that I realized I needed to pee. I lay there a minute longer, putting off the inevitable. And then I remembered more: someone grabbing me and holding me, a car, crying and pain, and ... nothing else.Maybe I was, like, at a psych ward or something.. He reached out and caressed my cheek. As his hand ran over my skin with a delicate, feather-light touch, I turned and drew his index finger into my mouth. I smiled to myself as I saw Kevin close his eyes and bite his lip to keep from crying out.Leaving a trail of soft kisses along his hand, I pulled him closer to me, until our lips were bare inches apart."I missed waking up with you," I whispered. That much was true. I've always been a snuggler. I love the feeling of another person's warm body against me. In college, the best was my gay boyfriend who used to call me a "heat-seeking missile" because I almost always ended up on top of him in the middle of the night. My ex-husband wasn't much for tenderness, but my kids love to cuddle just like me."And I missed falling asleep with you," he said evenly.I missed making love with you, I thought, but the words wouldn't come out of my mouth.As we lay there, I wondered how long he had been watching me sleep. His blue eyes were hypnotic. I.
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